I haven’t posted for a while. I actually wrote something in the middle of December when I was worried that the cancer had come back, but luckily it hasn’t so I was able to delete that entry without ever having to post it.
My doctor has me on quarterly PET scans, and I went in for my latest one on a Wednesday morning. I had felt the apprehension building up, but as I told my husband, it’s the results that I’m afraid of, not the procedure itself. I spent the afternoon obsessively checking my email. If it was good news, I’d get it via email from the doctor. It it wasn’t good news, then I’d be getting a call. And at 7pm, the phone rang.
My doctor sounded more puzzled than worried. Did I have an open skin lesion in my armpit? The radiologists had found a small, 6mm area in my armpit that was pretty hypermetabolic. It could be malignant, or it could be an area of inflammation. I was already scheduled to see her on Friday morning, so she said that she’d examine me and we could walk down to the breast clinic if she decided that she wanted a biopsy.
When I got to her office, she examined me, then we both looked at the PET scan to see where the area of concern was, then she called the radiologist to get more information about the location. He pointed out that my arms had been over my head during the scan, and when I did that, my doctor could find the lump. Which promptly burst when she touched it. It was not a new tumor, it was a small cyst/pimple. I did go ahead and get it biopsied just to be entirely certain that it wasn’t a problem, and the final report came back as no evidence of cancer. It was more of a relief than I had realized.
So, I was able to enjoy Christmas with my family. My middle son graduated from university and is in the process of moving back home until the job gets sorted out, my eldest son came home from Chicago for a week, and my youngest did well on his sophomore finals and has two weeks off school. We had a quiet New Year’s Eve at home, and today we drove up to the cemetery overlooking the Pacific Ocean to visit the graves of both my dad and my father-in-law. It was a beautiful day, although the wind was very cold for us.
And now it’s the beginning of a new year – a better year, I hope. This picture was taken by a friend of my husband’s on one of their weekly hikes. I find it inspiring, and see in it a path towards a healing light in a peaceful, serene place. It’s a desirable place for all of us, but for a cancer survivor, it’s even more meaningful.
Have a wonderful 2013, everyone.