“It’s cancer.” Dr. S didn’t beat about the bush when she called me at home at 9:45 tonight with the results of last Friday’s biopsy. She did ask if my husband, whom she’s met many times, was at home. He wasn’t, but I assured her that I wasn’t alone.
I was calm. We talked about some things, including the first choice of plan, which right now is surgery and radiation. She will be discussing the plan with the surgeon and oncology radiologist tomorrow and we will talk more then.
She talked about best and worst case scenarios, about chemo-resistant cancer cells, about localization and systemic spreading, and probably more stuff. It’s a bit of a blur.
When I got off the phone I told my son that there was more cancer. He didn’t really recognize it as bad news. My husband did when he got home 30 minutes later.
I cried, a bit. It’s a lot to take in. I’ve arranged for us to see Dr. S in person later this week. I’ve added to my list of questions for her. I’ve contacted a few others on my medical team to bring them up to speed. I’ll talk to the rest of my family tomorrow, including my mother, who will be back from her first vacation since my dad died.
My very supportive husband wanted to start making plans. I asked him not to go there quite yet, as I needed some time to process all this.
The Ambien isn’t working quite as well tonight.