I sometimes wish that I could be someone who enjoys the journey, but I’m not. When we go on driving trips, my husband loves to take his time, try different routes, maybe stop along the way. Not me. I’m get in the car, get to where we are going the fastest way possible, then arrive, unpack, and let the relaxing begin.
Of course, this has made the past 2 weeks difficult for me as I feel like I’ve just been sitting around waiting for the next steps to begin. Although I’m still a bit fatigued, I am pretty well recovered from the surgery. So, with my son being home, I took a mini-break from things to enjoy my family. We spent time together, read books, watched movies (seeing Bridesmaids with one’s 23 year old son was a bit constraining), had a big family gathering with my dad, and just relaxed. I didn’t really think very much or do anything about breast cancer for most of the time. It was lovely.
My oncologist did call and discuss the trial with me. I didn’t qualify for the arm she wanted (AC+T + Herceptin) and she wasn’t satisfied with what they said they would let me in for. Basically, if I got the study drug, I would have 2 of the 4 drugs having the potential for heart problems, and even though I have well controlled hypertension, they viewed the risk factors as too high. I was disappointed, but I did only have a 50% chance of even getting the Herceptin, and I am still getting the current best-practice treatment. I also went and picked up my prescriptions – 1 numbing cream, 5 anti-nausea meds, and a 7 day course of injections to boost my white blood count. I was also able to get my disability paperwork sorted out through February 1st of next year.
And beside my son’s visit, I’ve had some other really nice times in the past two weeks. A friend stopped by for coffee last week, bringing me three gorgeous hats she made for me. My Aunt Pat called from Canada (and advised me that my cousin found marijuana to be very effective in fighting nausea when she went through this 8 years ago). Some of my former colleagues were visiting from Europe and Asia and Idaho, and we had a big catch up dinner with a lot of my old team last night. And then there have been the cards and visits and emails and messages from all over, wishing me well.
So, tomorrow is Day 1 of chemo. Time to pick up the fight and get back to being aggressive about kicking this. I am apprehensive, but not terribly so. I went out for a few “last meals” at some of my favorite places in advance of maybe having nausea or having my taste go wonky. I have some DVD’s lined up. I’m off to hit the library this afternoon. I have my guided imagery CD. So we’ll see how it goes.