I have spent a great deal of time lately practicing.  I practiced what to say to my husband a whole lot before I finally got the courage to talk to him. I practiced what to say to Karen, the coordinator in the Women’s Imaging department, before she called with my initial biopsy results.  I am practicing what to say to my children, so that I can explain to them what is going on without scaring them, especially the one who no longer lives nearby.  I have tried to practice how to tell my mother, who is caring for my terminally ill father,  but I haven’t had much success with that one.  I am trying to figure out how to tell my friends, both those who are close and those who are casual.

But today, when I was by myself in my bedroom, I practiced tying head scarves.  Just in case, you know.

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3 Responses to Practicing

  1. Ed says:

    My wife, Patty, was diagnosed with stage 2b Invasive Ductal Carcinoma one year ago June 22nd. Like you, it was a grade 3! I see so many similarities between the two of you and remember quite vividly where you are right now. This has been quite a ride for the two of us! But now, we’re close to being a year out and will be celebrating Patty’s one year “Cancerversary” in two weeks! She had a mastectomy which she now refers to as her “Battle scar.” She went through six rounds of chemo. She lost her hair. But you know what? She’s alive and greets everyday as a new day. She’s doing absolutely fine now!

    You sound a lot like Patty. A very strong woman who can take on anything! After having gone through this with Patty, I’m confident you’ll get through this and be traveling in Brazil next year!

    I’ve blogged our way through this journey from the “husband’s point of view.” It may help your husband… as well as you. (

    Our prayers are with you!


    • thrin says:

      Thank you for the kind words and the link to your blog. I was able to sit down tonight and start reading about Patty’s experience. I’m not entirely caught up, but what I’ve read so far shows me some of the milestones ahead of me.
      Your prayers are most appreciated!

  2. Willy says:

    Dear Cathy:

    You have the courage to go through the psychological struggle in order to start these “practices” of disclosure. It is not an easy task to disclose the news especially when you think about the persons you loved. You are really a loving wife, caring mom, considerate friend and daughter. Actually, you are successfully letting others know the news and let them be with you, one by one. Don’t rush,take time. You will finally figure out how to do it. I know you are bookmania. Have you ever read the book called “Life lesson” written by Elizabeth Kubler Ross. I love this book very mich. She is one of my favorite author writing on life and loss. Pray for your serenity and courage to tell your friends and parents.

    Willy Cousin

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